Kitty Litter

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Pride Chicken

No, the title is not an error. But if you noticed it, then maybe you'd like to copyedit this mook I have to work with?

The kid (very young, only months of experience writing and newspapering) argued with me yesterday when I edited his article. It was creative; I'll give him that. But when I attempted to correct his work, he went ballistic. I tried to explain to him over the phone that a newspaper has a responsibility to its readers to provide well-written articles that they can easily understand. He invoked creativity, etc. as his defense, and refused to listen to my explanation that I both teach and write, that I am a creative writer, and that I have written AND edited for papers in the past. He didn't care about credentials; all he cared about was his wounded pride.

Then I was amazed to find that he'd taken a potshot at me, mocking my insistence that he use correct grammar and watch his word choice in a column he writes for our newspaper. Sneaky schmuck didn't send it to me for editing, but simply put it in the paper when no one was looking. (And don't think I didn't realize the significance of that!)

I picked up a copy today, and--lo and behold--there was a bunch of snide comments about people who insisted on good grammar--meaning me. Here is the column, without the kid's name and the name of the paper. Res ipsa loquitur--you tell me if this is, indeed, creative and well-written. Sneaky is a given, though.


RANT # 1
I’m alive and I can’t write a thing in a political Philippines where Philippine Cuisine wets in a blurring of identity; there’s the hype on everything cultural as how politically standardized culture should be, if fringed with our society’s standard talking points.
RANT#2
At this point, could I be regarded as a writer? Maybe yes, maybe no. Later, I’d be someone else. If I’d be cooking Sea Bass, dunking it in fresh milk for 5 minutes, seasoning it with salt and butter, and dredging it in flour before I high-sear-fry it in butter and olive oil, I’d be a cook, cooking French cuisine. And I’d be boasting of a good Sea Bass Meuniere, which simply means Pritong Isda.
Anyway, if I’d be someone eating Sea Bass Meunier, I’d simply be someone eating Sea Bass Meunier, and not a writer. If I’d be writing at this point, then I’m simply someone writing.
RANT#3
It’s so difficult to get the perfection of a Dill Beur Blanc sauce. When I was doing my version, I used minced white onions as an option for shallots. I simmered it with chopped dill and white wine, and when reduced, I added in whipped cream and chicken stock.
Reduce it to the right consistency, as how one need be reducing a supra-ego of actually teaching the module-based technicalities of pagsulat ng Ingles sa Tamang Pamamaraan, without actually writing a ballistic work, bigger than The Irish Bard, or Psychodeath Bubble-gum Love Suite of Ramil, or water songs of Nerisa Del Carmen-Guevarra. Just eat Gani’s TAO.
RANT#4
My God I’m having the writer’s block! Or maybe, the "someone-who’s-trying to-write-block."
Where is Eleonora Dimagiba when one needs advise on writing. Shish, I need to visit BS Medina.
Anyway, do not forget to season with salt and pepper. Whisk in butter to the sauce and a little bit of humility to it, but cook it as B. Savarin and write like A. Ginsberg. More so, smile like how Jollibee does...
...haay, I think I’d not be able to finish my rant. You want to know why?
Here is the answer:
See it?
Anyway, don’t forget to always put white wine when cooking seafood Pasta Italian style. Get the best of clams and anchovies.
Forget about Cabernet Sauvignon, it’s expensive. Try Merlot.
And, free lunch will always be served at home.
Where’s home, anyway?
Maybe, it is where my writing is.


Our boss tore him a new @$$hole for his arrogance. Seemed he'd already been warned about his attitude in the past. Our boss tried hard to be fair, and even introduced us and let me explain my side to him. I edit to improve articles, I try to help you, etc., was what I said. Our boss told him to put up or shut up, basically...and that worried me. People pushed against the wall can be dangerous, and if his column is any indication, then I better watch my back, yes? Pride chicken: he prefers to attack from behind.

When I brought the column to his attention, and told him that I knew what he'd written, there was dead silence. Though he promised to work professionally with me in the future, the fact that he was humiliated over this incident is not going to go away easily, and I'm waiting for another attack in some other form.

He's young, and I can't help but feel sorry for him in spite of his childish behavior. I know he's quite insecure about his position: he's on probation, he has no prior experience with writing or editing, he supervises the layout and article-gathering (basically doing the dirty work of the editor), and he doesn't have the credentials for writing and editing.

I've taught more Creative Writing classes than I can count, and I can pick out the type quite easily; in his youthful conceit, there is no room in his mind for the idea that someone might actually be better than him. I get that a lot in undergrad classes, so I was surprised that someone out of college could be like this. (Of course he was meek and polite when our boss was around, and this rang so many warning bells, I'm surprised our boss didn't hear them clanging. But then, he's a laid-back, cool and collected kinda guy, so he probably did but chose not to mention it.)

But his youth and insecurity does not give him the right to behave in this manner. No matter what he thinks, he still has to learn a few lessons, and this most of all: the media is not to be used as a tool for lashing out at people for your own purposes. If he wants to do that, I believe a certain publisher of another paper would like an assistant.

I'm willing to bet he'll go running to his writer-friends (whom I also know, incidentally) in an attempt to smear mud on my name. I wanted to be transferred to another section as I could see this wasn't going to work, but Cool Boss refused to let me resign. He told the boy straight out that I was editing the section, and the boy had better pick up a few lessons from me and control his attitude. My other boss told me that this was a strong message and a punishment in itself. Me, I think that Cool Boss has his reasons, but if I find a knife sticking in my back anytime soon, I will be sure to show it to him. The kid might need it back, after all (to steal a line from this funny email I got which featured "Rejected Hallmark Card Texts").

Seems the kid's been in hot water before (for rudeness to an advertiser, a huge no-no in an industry that relies on advertising), and when my boss told me, "He's an idiot. It's probably best that you ignore him. But he's young, and I think he deserves a second chance...although this is already his second chance," I figured the boy would just dig himself into his grave.

I just hope he has the sense not to try and pelt others with his own graveyard dirt.

Labels: ,

posted by Kitty Litter at 9:33 PM 11 comments