Kitty Litter

...is Crickpicket Merryweather. Ugh. Wanna repel yourself too? Click this: http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/elf/

This comes from one of my favorite books, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams. It's oddly appropriate. :D

It's Wednesday today, and it was with a start that I realized I hadn't turned in a column for my Bulletin thingie. Eargh. But I start again next week...I think. Holy Week messed up a lot of things in re schedules.

Now that I want to post again, Blogger is going screwy. Wonder why.

These are fairly random. Apologies; still getting the "feel" back.

1. Exercise Fatality Daily

Yes, that's correct. I've discovered a very good way of motivating myself to work out. I look at my blood sugar test results, the receipts for my medicines, and the blood patch from my last blood test. I don't want to live my life that way. Funny how you think you're immortal until you get sick. I've taken to watching Six Feet Under...or trying to. Death isn't a topic I'm comfortable with, and I've heard that people cope with death by seeing horror movies. Probably because it desensitizes them to the whole thing. I don't like horror movies. I am in trouble.

On a side note, I like going to the gym, not because there are any hotties there (hindi kami talo ate) but because I feel strong, and accomplished. So I am nursing a sore foot from a misguided attempt at using the Stairmaster. I remember reading Erma Bombeck's comparison of herself with other women at the gym, and it went thus: "I had cooked bigger turkeys than that woman." I look around whenever I can ignore the sound of my thighs flapping, and I see women who correspond to this: "I've eaten bigger chickens than her." Somehow, that sounds so wrong.

2. Forget the Kids, Who's Watching the Parents?

After a long and frustrating morning chasing down my ATM card (which Veteran's Bank failed to inform me had been replaced), I trudged back to my car. I was hot, hungry, and angry at the ineptitude of the bank...clearly in no mood for what I saw.

Parked next to me was a newish white Lite Ace with the vanity plate CUSTOMS. Inside was a family with two kids. They finished their taho (a tofu treat) and simply flung their taho cups outside the van.

I picked up the cups, and handed them back to their yaya. "Hindi basurahan ang unibersidad na ito, (This university is not a trash can)" I snarled.

The mother tried to glare me down. I was in the mood to take them all on: mom, dad, aged lolo in wheelchair, kiddies, and yaya...and win. She glanced away, and had a hurried discussion with her husband, who also tried to glare me down, but failed.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but trash isn't meant to be flung everywhere. I keep my own trash, even if it means littering inside my own car. Why am I being so self-righteous about such a "small" thing?

Because the common herd flings trash everywhere.

I may be an ordinary person, but I am not of the common herd, and that simple decision I make about such a "small" thing makes me a better person.

That's Polar Bearball trying to get some sleep, and that's me above him being suicidal :) Photo comes from www.zedge.no (you have to be a member to get all the nice free cellphone junk there)

I haven't posted for quite a while. I got sick, got very busy, and discovered things that forced me to reevaluate my life. Sorry, but this isn't witty or organized or remotely "literary"...just me talking. Click on the next blog link if you prefer humor or other readable stuff.

I have been diagnosed with Type II diabetes--the kind that comes with stress and carbohydrates, which is a problem since I like my carbs. Oh boy.

And I also was painfully reminded of how biological families are also the last place you should seek help and consolation from. I haven't told anyone in my family because they always make it my fault; my mother, for one, launched into a long lecture about my wastrel ways. This coming from the woman who tortured me, at seventeen and a normal if plump 130 pounds, into thinking I was a fat pig. I gave up because of her criticism, and I live with my dad because I can't stand her. Dunno how my sister can. My mother is a walking insult; she is kind and charming to strangers and people she's just met, but is vicious with her own daughters and relatives. My dad, on the other hand, has hygiene issues. Oddly enough, the kindest people in my family are those who aren't closely related to me.

There is no kindness and sympathy there, only questions, insults, and ignorant comments: "When will you lose weight? You can't have a cookie, you fat pig. Why are you spending so much time in the hospital anyway?" Like I enjoy hanging around St. Luke's?

So far only Polar Bearball has been supportive. I've begun an exercise program and he's taken me walking for the minimum 30 minutes each day for the past few days. Since he's at work today, I'm going walking on my own later.

This is disjointed. I apologize for inflicting this on you.

This was taken at the Greenhills supermarket. Note that the word is correctly spelled in the upper left hand corner. No, Polar Bearball and I didn't screw around with this sign!

(Okay, I know I haven’t posted in a while, but I have been busy. Sorry. But look; I have goodies for you guys! By the way, if you want to see proof, I have proof. I have all 109 miserable originals of the essays below. Invite me to lunch, dinner, coffee, whatever. I’ll bring the stuff, you pay for the food. ;D)

I recently had the misfortune to be dragged into judging an essay-writing contest for high school kids whose theme was, “Life and Its Underlying Economic Concepts.” I thought, hey, this is so easy: define economics from your notes, add a few words about your personal experience with economy, explain how economics pervades everyday life, and then move to a generalization about the role of economics in society. Right?

I expected a lot of cute little essays about budgeting the baon, how the economic crisis is shrinking a teen’s purchasing power, and so on. Right?

Wrong. Delightfully wrong, in some cases. I have the photocopies as proof that these were actual statements from real students. I left out the “sic”s as you can add them yourselves. Happy laughing! Then when you’re done laughing, explain to me how we can have more universities than the US and produce kids like this. It’s not just the language; it’s the sheer ignorance that gets to me.

1- “In the first statement of creation, ‘In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth’, the world was filled with melange colors of life. From the start, the world had evolved to become a home to billions of men competitively inhaling with each other. Though some lived simplier than breathing and exhaling but many have patterned life to the different concepts of economics.

(This kid should be a fake New Age teacher, I mean, what with all the emphasis on breathing! See topic of contest above for more laughs. I cannot follow the logic of the last sentence; breathing is an economy? How profound!!!)

2- (Same kid) “Now we are not anymore living in the history but the same concepts are still applied. Everythime, we suffer ups and downs—inflation of happiness and deflation towards failures. We have balloons of happiness and stones of failure.”

(Life is a kiddie party, what can I say?)

3- (STILL the same kid):
“I have a poem that expression for economy:

We found an equilibrium
Weighing success and failures
Showing balance of growth
Consuming life to its worth.”

(Somebody call Jimmy Abad: what a deep poem! This should be in his next anthology of Philippine lit!)

4- “In our daily life we are dealing always on the word ECONOMY, just by using a little electricity in our home can be a way of dealing with economy. And we can solve problem of economy in home.”

(Quick! Call the exterminator! Wait…they only handle rats and roaches. Who exterminates ECONOMY?)

5- Mojo Jojo Lives!:

“In life, you can find many of the different economic concepts. These concepts are put to use or are being applied to and are good and beneficial to us. Among these many concepts, one the most important or most related to human life and behavior is Maslow’s heirarchy of needs. In [this] we can see and perceive the needs of man and most likely what he wants too. We need the economy everyday, thus.”

(He has a future as a legal writer, ne?)


6- “I like to define economics simply as the study for the solution to man’s problem because problem of economy is man.”

(Memo to exterminator in 4 above: Man is also a pest. Terminate with extreme prejudice.)

7- “Our nation needs a great leader! Not just well-educated. He/she should exhilarate the Filipino populace. He/she should present enunciated agendas with a vision of a long-term basis…He/She should act on corrupt bureaucrats that greatly depress our economy.”

(Our economy needs a psychiatrist. Call Dr. Phil, quick! Then get a speech teacher to enunciate our agendas with vision.)


8- “I had a dream. I dreamt that the time came when the Philippines, a Recognized South East Asian Economic leader, was left behind by nations which it once considered inferior. Through the long, dark night, I endured the unthinkable horror of my worst nightmare. I woke up, shocked, to find that my dream is the reality. I was indeed very baffled. I repeatedly asked myself the one question that can unlock the mystery of what transpired: ’How?’ Through thorough research, I found the answer to my question—which was amusingly simply. Effort and determination. What a laugh. We were overtaken in the economic race by these two words.”

(I am overwhelmed. SO profound! Was that Martin Luther King this little twerp is plagiarizing? And how silly of us: the solution to the problems of this country’s economy is so freaking easy, it takes a child to lead the way!)


9- “(Par. 1- Why GMA is going to last her term—the kid forgot that the elections are already over. Or he could’ve been trying to convince himself of that.)

(Par. 2) Shame that we Filipinos have to be told by another friend about the democracy we have, the freedom of speech, freedom to vote, and the dream of emuncipation. It gives me joy to remember the time when the anti-smokig law RP 5911 was issued by the Congress, stating that smoking is prohibited in private sector. As private restaurants followed and some not, but it didn’t last long that the once who obeyed abolished it, as in the law was a joke. I remembered the time as early as 1970’s that the Philippines was considered a star bright among its neighboring countries.”

(Kid, how old are you? Kid, how stupid are you? If you can “remember” all the way to the seventies then you should be carrying a senior citizen card by now.)

2- “Life is a roller coaster, a famous line from a famous song. Sometimes we’re up, sometimes we’re down. Sometimes I’m scared of you. But all I really want is to hold you tight. And treat you right. This is like a President with her economy. You have to love the economy everyday.”

(Kid, you mixed your songs up! Personally, I would've preferred "Economy na pataas, ay di pala tumataas, ekonomiyang pababa, pababa ng pababa..." hehe. Sorry, couldn't resist)


There’s more, so much more, but I got tired of typing. Am thinking of scanning the things instead. Just let me know if you want more!

You know what gets me? English we can fix. Stupidity you can’t. The lack of logic and reasoning gets to me. The contestants included kids from Ateneo, Miriam, La Salle, and other private schools, so it’s not just that these dorks were from public schools. I have always believed that high school teachers do the worst damage to kids’ brains…and I rest my case.

Some of my younger students thought this was obscene. I had to explain the "clean" meaning. Found this lovely item at Glo Ri Sikatuna Medyo mahal, so I didn't buy it.