Kitty Litter
Monday, October 11, 2004
Animal Planet Pinoy Style
A School Snippet. Sort Of.
This afternoon I was checking papers when I heard a pounding coming from outside my office. The walls in the Faculty Center are so laughably thin, you can just raise your voice a bit and be able to carry on a perfectly intelligible conversation with your neighbor, so you can imagine how noisy that was. Since I was in killer mode (I'm hoping for a 25% fatality rate in my class. Now if I only had the guts to carry my threat out), I was in no mood to tolerate the disturbance. The pounding continued for several seconds, so I went out and saw two boys using the door across the hall as a percussion instrument.
I never thought I would ever see Harry Potter characters come to life, but there in front of me were Dudley Dursley's "rat-faced friend, Piers Polkiss" and Goyle...well, at least Piers and Goyle, Filipino version.
The Polkiss look-alike was literally a human rat; his snout twitched in a mannerism which was cute on Lucy Liu in "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle," but on him, it was reminiscent of the kind of sewer-rat refuse even normal house rats look down on. The Goyle look-alike looked too much like the "Fat Fairy" (even the desperate gay guys I know would never stoop so low as to go out with him) who liked to dance around in a small comic book store I like going to...much to the dismay of the owner, who fantasized about throwing him over the third floor railing. Let's call them Rat Turd Face and Goyle.
Goyle looked at me stupidly, but his brain had evolved enough for him to realize that he was in danger of being given a sermon, so he stopped tapping the door. Rat Turd Face continued to pound on the door. I got Rat-Boy's attention and told him to stop pounding on the door; it was obvious that no one was around. With that, I left.
Important digression: A few months ago, I saw a feature on Animal Planet on chimps. The lead chimp was being pestered by a younger male who insisted on whacking a coconut husk on the branch where the alpha male was (I hope I've got the terms right; if not, do let me know). The more pissed the alpha male, the more the younger one insisted on pounding on the branch with the coconut.
Sound familiar?
On with my story. I ran into Rat Face and Pig Snout in the corridor several minutes later. As I passed them, Rat Face started tapping on the wall.
It's kind of pathetic how these boys see their laughably immature actions as being "cool." I can only presume that Rat Face was humiliated when I singled him out for attention, so he had to get back at me in some way. Let's try to duplicate his tiny brain processes:
* Teacher bad to me!
* Must revenge to teacher!
* Teacher no can be pounded to floor. No can kill. She bigger me. May be she eat me! No!
* See teacher! She mad when me pound, so me tap wall! Me superior! This me version Tarzan pound chest!
Who's going to try and convince me that we are superior to animals? Come on! We ALL exhibit animalistic behavior at one time or another; sadly, in many cases, it's all the time. Erma Bombeck's book, "All I Need To Know About Animal Behavior I Learned In The Loehmann's Dressing Room" is more insightful than the average anthropological report. What we like to think of as human dignity is really defense mechanism. We have this innate need to feel superior; hence Rat Face tapping the wall, and me writing this post. Too bad for him I'm better at revenge.
I could go on and on and rant about this, but I have something else to write. And yes, to the fans of the funny, it is funny. ^_^
Labels: "joys" of teaching, funny fights
posted by Kitty Litter at 11:19 PM
1 Comments:
Sounds like something a 9mm Glock can solve. Permanently.
-Wynn
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