Kitty Litter
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Immoral Fiber
Setting: At a grocery
Mood: Still somewhat ashamed of self.
I hate it when the grocery runs out of my favorite brand of toilet paper. Substitutes never work; my favorite cheap brand is called Myo-E and at P 120 for 20 rolls, it's a steal. It doesn't shred when you use it on your nether regions (thus forcing you to pluck out tiny wads of paper later on), it's individually wrapped, and did I already say it was cheap? :)
Today, the grocery ran out of it. Argh. The next best brand for me is Kleenex, and if you don't know how painful it is to pay P 30 for a roll of 3 ply toilet paper, well, you must be rich. I trudged away, disappointed.
While the Polar Bearball and I were orbiting the grocery for necessities (apple juice, potatoes, premixed menudo and adobo mix--kill me now--diet Pepsi Twist, etc), we noticed a cart abandoned in one aisle. It clearly had been there for some time...the meat was dripping onto the floor, for one.
In the cart was one pack of Myo-E toilet paper, shining like the Holy Grail. Oh, the temptation to swipe it, pay for it, and flee!
We waited. Polar Bearball and I took turns grabbing the rest of the stuff we needed. No one came back for the cart. The meat continued dripping, the butter continued melting. Nobody. The toilet paper winked at me, I swear.
After fifteen minutes, I'd had enough. I marched to the abandoned cart fully intending to grab the last pack of toilet paper when my conscience suddenly pricked me. You make fun of your students for their transgressions...how can you do this? a still, small voice asked me. I went back to our cart.
"We can grab it and check out...are you ready to pay?" Polar Bearball asked me.
"Yes...I want it...but I can't..." I stammered.
He snorted and gave me a "what a weenie" look.
IN a small, still voice, I said to him, "Honey, you grab it and I'll line up."
"Huh?"
"Because my conscience is bugging me. I'll feel less guilty if YOU swipe the toilet paper."
Say what you will, but now I have my toilet paper.
Mood: Still somewhat ashamed of self.
I hate it when the grocery runs out of my favorite brand of toilet paper. Substitutes never work; my favorite cheap brand is called Myo-E and at P 120 for 20 rolls, it's a steal. It doesn't shred when you use it on your nether regions (thus forcing you to pluck out tiny wads of paper later on), it's individually wrapped, and did I already say it was cheap? :)
Today, the grocery ran out of it. Argh. The next best brand for me is Kleenex, and if you don't know how painful it is to pay P 30 for a roll of 3 ply toilet paper, well, you must be rich. I trudged away, disappointed.
While the Polar Bearball and I were orbiting the grocery for necessities (apple juice, potatoes, premixed menudo and adobo mix--kill me now--diet Pepsi Twist, etc), we noticed a cart abandoned in one aisle. It clearly had been there for some time...the meat was dripping onto the floor, for one.
In the cart was one pack of Myo-E toilet paper, shining like the Holy Grail. Oh, the temptation to swipe it, pay for it, and flee!
We waited. Polar Bearball and I took turns grabbing the rest of the stuff we needed. No one came back for the cart. The meat continued dripping, the butter continued melting. Nobody. The toilet paper winked at me, I swear.
After fifteen minutes, I'd had enough. I marched to the abandoned cart fully intending to grab the last pack of toilet paper when my conscience suddenly pricked me. You make fun of your students for their transgressions...how can you do this? a still, small voice asked me. I went back to our cart.
"We can grab it and check out...are you ready to pay?" Polar Bearball asked me.
"Yes...I want it...but I can't..." I stammered.
He snorted and gave me a "what a weenie" look.
IN a small, still voice, I said to him, "Honey, you grab it and I'll line up."
"Huh?"
"Because my conscience is bugging me. I'll feel less guilty if YOU swipe the toilet paper."
Say what you will, but now I have my toilet paper.
posted by Kitty Litter at 9:54 PM
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